Dandelion planted in a Middle School retreat
Dandelion Ministries was asked to run the Middle School Retreat for all the Anglican (and beyond) churches in New England! Craig Vickerman, the Canon of youth and families in the ADNE (Anglican Diocese in New England) asked me, Kate, to be the speaker and Sean to lead the music. We are in this life stage. We are reaching out to middle schoolers and their families all the time thanks to our very own 12-year old. It was a perfect fit. As I made the invites locally, I was so grateful for the relationships and trust God has built over our three years here – folks said yes! We are becoming known as the ministry that comes alongside churches, that shares the Gospel in artistic, creative ways that kids remember and parents enjoy. Thank you, God!
meet Coach K and crew
Our little ministry brought a crew of 2 parent leaders, 6 kids, plus our family – 12 folks strong! Locally, word has gotten out and I bet more will join us next year. Of note, our generous and adored girls basketball coach, Kelly, packer her jeep with kids and snacks and joined us on the ferry, on the road, and in the sleepless nights with endless smiles and affirmation. I was also delighted that my college roommate and partner-in-crime, Carol, brought her son from the Boston area. Our reconnection has been timely and a blessing.
meet Carol and our Dandelion small group
I was particularly struck by how many mothers wanted to come with us. We had to turn one away for lack of space. Another said she’d like to join next time. It’s a part of our passion – that the entire family system would experience the grace of Jesus Christ in their place of need. None of our burdens were formed in isolation. None of them are healed in isolation. Jesus finds our loneliest spot – behind that locked door (see Sean’s last post) and brings us into his family in heaven and on earth. For me, His family has included counselors, 12-step groups, peer support groups, pastors, professors, prayer ministers, friends family members, and most crucially, my husband and girls.
our one outside game… starting to sprinkle…
Miraculously, it was fun. There are lots of things the organizers will change for next time. God stepped in and sent rain and snow and pushed us all to our edges. I felt like it was a special call for what God has sent us to do with Dandelion. Lean into the grace of Jesus. Lean into the art. Create new neurological pathways of comfort and connection by making space to be creative, to be heard and to be loved especially with the painful things. Lean into the child in all of us. That’s what we want to do! That’s why we started Dandelion! Here was the moment. It was way too much. The Lord was like, let’s go.
rock climbing was part of the fun plan B!
Our mission on the ADNE Middle School 2024 Retreat was to help middle schoolers and their leaders internalize and believe that they are deeply loved by Jesus. We wanted them to come away with saving faith, which only the Spirit can give, that they are a beloved son and daughter of God. We wanted them to know the forgiving love of Jesus, that finds us at our most helpless, worst state, and brings us into his family, his love, and his healing. One whisper of this at 12 years old will carry you your whole life long. We wanted to sing an anthem.
How do you come to believe that?
This is how the Lord did it on this retreat:
1. Cancelled all (most of) our plans…
Anna Burden had organized an outdoor Saturday of high and low ropes courses, campfires, hiking, and beach. Nope! The Lord sent rain and snow… He wanted us to be basically in one room for two days with 75 new friends. And look what he did with it!
2. Gospel! Gospel! Gospel!!! Grace! Grace! Grace!!!!
In order to properly share the Gospel, I needed costume beards. Big ones. Each talk opened with a retelling of Scripture. I got volunteers to help me act it out while I narrated. I’ll share a brief overview:
Talk 1 Real heroes: Jesus transfigures before his friends and the two heroes of the faith, Moses and Elijah (white and brown beards), affirm his ministry (Matthew 17:1-8)
The heroes of faith, Moses and Elijah, are pointing to Jesus saying, “This is the One! He is the healer, the savior, the rescuer!” God says it too, affirming that Jesus is his “beloved son with whom he is well pleased.” However, God’s voice terrifies the disciples! In it they see God’s power; they realize they are not God; they feel their smallness and sinfulness. Jesus reaches down and touches them and says, “Rise, have no fear.” God sent Jesus to each one of us to show us how much he loves us. Jesus gave his life to save us from the problems that terrify us, to reunite us with his Father, to make God our father too. You have a powerful friend who loves you more than you can imagine.
Small group (by the church or ministry that brought you): Kids and leaders wrote poems using each letter of Jesus’ promise: RISE, HAVE NO FEAR.
Talk 2: Jesus is bigger than big problems: we acted out when Jesus came down from that mountain (Matthew 17:14-23) and into a problem that was too big for a desperate father and a sick boy. We listed problems that were too big for us (racism, global warming, war, cancer, death) and how helpless they make us feel. Those problems drive us to the only One who can deal with them: the source of all healing and life, Jesus.
Jesus heals through a miracle, medicine, and always, always by giving us life beyond death in heaven. Even if he does not heal the illness on earth, he always heals us in heaven. He healed something just as important for the helpless people in the story. They were alone in their problem. He brought them into his family—where everyone was helpless and Jesus was the source of help, saving, healing, and hope for everyone. Jesus connected them to others who could bring his hope to them. We noticed that, at this retreat, people have stories of when they were helpless and Jesus brought his miracle of life and hope. I reassured them that if they do not have a story of healing, then that means that they are in the midst of the problem. Jesus is surrounding each of us so we would not be alone in it.
Small group: draw a picture of Jesus promise to you in John 16:33 “I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart; I have overcome the world.” Kids and leaders alike shared stories of when they were helpless and Jesus answered them.
Talk 3: Beloved Daughter, Beloved Son: many of the students were 12 years old. I had to do the story of Jesus resurrecting the 12-year-old girl from Matthew 9:18-26. I began by asking, What names have stuck to you over the years that you don’t like? And
Have you called other people names they don’t like?
Names such as: Not smart… troubled… anxious… unlikable… there’s a 12 year old girl in this story… and a woman who has had a problem for 12 years. The story links the little girl and the woman by their common description: 12. The woman in the story had names like that and she learned to hide them. So often the hurts we carry with us throughout our life start at 12. That’s when we learn how to deal with the names and the fears we have.
This is what Jesus does to each person in the story:
Jesus changes the woman’s reputation from outcast, mess-up, and reject and (____________ fill in the blank from any name you’ve been called)… To “daughter.”
The 12-year old girl is the epitome of being helpless: she was dead! But when you meet Jesus and hear him call you by name and know that he gave his life for you – to save you in this helpless spot – it gives you faith that will never leave you. No matter what others say of you, his voice is the one that matters.
The girl’s father was a ruler of the Synagogue. He did not believe Jesus was God. He was a part of the group that opposed Jesus, got mad at him, tried to trap him. Jesus would have been the last person he went to. You can tell in the story – he went everywhere else so much so that the girl had to die before he went to Jesus. Finally, he did. At the end of his rope. Jesus could have rubbed this in his face. Jesus did not hold this father’s sins against him. He gave him grace. Jesus does that for each of us too. Jesus brings his Father’s love to each of us: forgiving us, not rubbing our sins and helplessness in our face. Just like the boy healed of seizures and the girl raised from death, you are Jesus’ beloved son and beloved daughter.
In small groups, kids made word art out of their new names: “beloved son,” “beloved daughter.” They shared about the names they have been called. They shared about the names they want to believe. A handful were so bold to share with the large group. I was so pleased they felt safe enough.
We finished the retreat with Communion. It was a simplified teaching communion. I said Jesus knew we would forget and fight, so he gave us this meal to remind us of his forgiveness. With it, we eat and drink his forgiveness and love for us; we turn and serve each other with him too.
The wine grossed everyone out. Note to self: use grape juice for middle schoolers!
3. Play, play and more play!
I have never played so many games in my life! Rock climbing, team games, partner games, listening games. Games when the pizza was late. Games when it was raining (which was 90% of the time). Squealing. Laughing. Gasping. Ooooo-ing. Gotcha-ing. Directing (and occasional following). And often, the whole crowd gathering around the last person to go who needed a cheering squad. Thank you Stephanie Hansen, who brought her expertise as the camp director of China Lake Camp! Her kids got blessed by unexpected friends. We got blessed by her anointed knowledge of fun.
Instead of a campfire Saturday night, Anna Burden suggested an “Un-talent show” where the sillier is the better. Anna Vickerman, always game for everything, came with a box of costumes. Church of the Cross, St. Peter’s, Faith, and Dandelion Ministries got goofy on stage and we saw sides of each other that only fun brings out. I asked the youth leaders of Faith Anglican Church if they had ever seen their kids this silly? They said no, but that all the fun they had together helped them understand their kids better and who the leaders are among them. It was holy ground with wigs, sunglasses, and capes. Dandelion was out in force!
4. Sing! Sing! Sing!
Sean led the music. Stomping, singing, clapping – we all got into it. By day two he invited kids to join him. They did. Each one took a risk and a deep breath in doing so. It was beautiful to see them self-elect to get up in front of their peers and use their voice.
5. Make art!
I had planned art projects to go along with the talks (see above). But the rain added another, rather long time slot, for art. I think God waited until the day before to inform me of this so I wouldn’t freak out. He gave me two ideas: an individual project and a group project.
both projects going for 3 2-hour shifts
“Home base” was the individual project: Using collage, imagine what your room in heaven looks like.
We talked about Jesus’ promise of heaven, and how that comforts us in when we feel helpless and when we lose someone we love. We could all relate. Some very recently. If Jesus had real comfort in the face of death, then he could help with all the other problems too.
“In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:2-3).
Lots of them had pools – more than one in a room usually. Nice cars (all these middle schoolers can’t wait to drive!). A surprising number of giraffes. Not a few made pictures in black and white. Heaven is promised, but I’m not there yet… it feels black and white to me, not in color. I was honored by their honesty.
“Beloved Son and Daughter” was the group project. We talked about how Jesus met the father who was helpless and alone. He connected him to himself. Then to others who knew what Jesus could do. Out of being alone and helpless, Jesus created a new beautiful community – intersecting, connecting, colorful, messy – loved. By him.
The first group traced each other until everyone was on the page. No longer alone. They picked the verse: “Beloved Son and Daughter” taken from the talks. (Jesus called the bleeding woman, “Daughter” in Matthew 9; God calls Jesus, “Beloved Son” in Matthew 17; Jesus makes each of us sons and daughters of God.) The second group added color. The third group finished it. We are all in it. When I showed it, the first group was delighted! They never imagined it would turn out so colorfully. Can you find the words, “My beloved son and daughter?” The kids can. They can show you.
The whole group took real ownership of the words and wanted to take it home with them. I will make it available as a free file or print to buy.
6. Team up
Just like the collaborative art project, each leader had a key role to play on this retreat. Food, organization, safety, clean-up, listening, games, songs, the impetus for the whole thing. Many of you kept praying. And last but not least, the VOLUNTEER adult leaders blessed each other and the kids. They sacrificed sleep, time, energy, and money to pour into us all.
Thank you.
The Spirit kept us inside as if to bring us into a team huddle, implanting in our soul,
“Beloved.”
I love these people!
us now ;)
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